slip-sliding away…..

Calm before the storm

Posted by Yacoob on November 23, 2006

There isn’t  sorrow.
There isn’t clinging onto what has become so familiar:
     the environment I get to be in,
     the people I pray with, who i am surrounded by – working and not working.
.
There’s no ‘mental journey of appreciation’ either:
I’ve done that already, months ago, and find no need to revisit the thoughts I have,
the gratefulness I have, for being Blessed with this experience.
.
I have been part of a community:
Brothers have smiled at me, shook my hand, shown me the warmth and affection of unity
that I have not had, not been a part of, not belonged, all my life.
.
Where my future lies, I do not know.
There is no anxiety yet – the reality of impending unemployment has not made its way to me again yet.
.
But I have Faith.
Beyond the thoughts of worry, the unease of uncertainty,
the perception that ‘no job means marriage is not yet possible’….

Brain, mind, thoughts, ideas aside – in my heart there is contentment over this;

For God has given me such great blessings in this career – this professional side of life – thus far.
.
I am confident now, in my strengths: i know what they are,
truly know where my strengths lie,
and I am better for it: both personally, AND professionally.

And that bids well for my future. For the fulfillment, once again, of one of my very few goals when it comes to ‘work’.
.
In my time here, I have come to know that I’ve moved on – inside – progressed beyond the insecurity of my teenage and varsity life.

I’m still shy, yes, but I’m confident in myself. I don’t feel “less” than the others; I don’t lack what I used to consider ‘normality’.

I am firmly footed in who I am and how I want to live my life.
I don’t have a plan,
but I have ambitions, and ideas -
a river of ideas sometimes -
and underlying my future, I have something more important than any Honours degree;
more assuring than any educational or professional qualification;
more real than all of those things:

                    I have Faith. I have Guidance.
                    I have what is the most beautiful thing in my life;
                    my relationship with my Creator.
.
And that – no matter what life throws my way (in ANY area of life) – is what will bring me through this world and this life I have been given.

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One Response to “Calm before the storm”

  1. kimya said

    i loved this piece :)

    wow

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