slip-sliding away…..

For the single people out there

Posted by Yacoob on April 20, 2007

This one’s for all of us who are waiting. I hope you take something good from it.

“Reliance”

They tell you to be patient.
They say your time will come:
what is meant to be will be;

And all that lies between now and then
is a trial of Faith,
a lesson in patience,
a Revelation of your ultimate reliance on the One.

You seek that which, you feel, will complete your heart;
complement your mind;
bring lasting comfort to your soul.

You wish for the bond of love and tranquility,
placed between your hearts;
you yearn for the one who will be a garment to you,
and you fulfilling the same blessed purpose for them.

You dream of a future,
a life no longer alone.
A companion to share with you all the extacy and agony you will face within your journey.
Someone who will walk with you,
side by side,
hand in hand,
down the beautiful path that leads back the One to Whom we belong,
the One to Whom is our return.

And though you will face that Day alone,
your bond – and all it manifested itself as – gives you hope
that, together, you were each other’s helping hand.

You enjoined what was good,
and forbade what was evil;
You had a common goal, a beautiful goal;
and the support of each other was your safety net:
you had a home in their arms,
and when they held you,
nothing could harm you -

For you were right where you were destined to be,
wrapped in the love of the one who you held so dear,

and the two of you,
wrapped in the Love of the One Who brought your souls into existence,
then shaped you over time – through pain and joy, preparing you for the pure, everlasting union that was always in existence – though you did not know it until it came to your senses:
manifested itself in front of your eyes.

He alone, you worshipped;
He alone, you asked for help.

And though, at times, you grew frustrated,
wondering when the help would come;
when it would be your turn -
in truth, the Help was always there.

It was just for you to accept -
with your heart and your mind,
beyond the superficial rhetoric -
that everything has its appointed time.

So on that Day,
as you stand before Him,
you do so in the knowledge that your lives,
your souls,
though beginning separated;
were brought together at the appointed time.

And all that came before was not a waste -
on the contrary,
it was a treasure chest:
a collection of thoughts, feelings, experiences;
all part of your preparation.

Yet you did not see it that way,
in your haste to attain that which you so cherished.

But the past has passed,
and all is put into perspective now.

And though we cannot conceive what awaits us in the Hereafter
– for Paradise begins where the imagination ends -
we know who we wish to share it with.

So, look past the immediacy of these moments without them;
and remember what awaits you in your future.

Take lessons from the past.
Be thankful for the present.
Be hopeful for the future.

Seek help in patience and prayer;
ask of Him Who is of infinite bounty.

Tell Him all that you fear,
all that you dream of,
all that you want;

Open up to Him and pour out every ounce of the hurt you feel.
Let it all go.

For when you have done so,
when your troubles have been released,
you will be brought back to the truth and comfort of your ultimate reliance on the One:
your Eternal Companion; closer than you can imagine.

Keep the faith, always.

(Note: The sequel to this came 5 months later – here.)

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38 Responses to “For the single people out there”

  1. well said :)

  2. haseena said

    wow thats beautiful

  3. Dreamlife said

    y thank you :)

  4. 'liya said

    That was beautiful! :)

  5. bb-aisha said

    Have you been reading my mind :-p

    This was unexplainably beautiful. Subhanallah

  6. Fatima said

    This is really lovely and thought-provoking :)

  7. alia said

    as salaam

    if we measured our personalities with states of being, right now ill be a very impatient, sorrowful person.
    i read your post knowing full well what you mean, understanding that the wait is part of His SWT plan. knowing that there is no point in feeling lonely and wallowing in it coz it wont bring ‘the one’ that much closer to being discovered, but i cant help but feel: when? when will it be me?

    for the past year or less ive been drowning in things, time-occupying things that keep me on my toes and out of my mind. this weekend i took some time off of those things and what a huge mistake-the loneliness, the longing and the asking of futile questions all returned and now i sit with the difficulty of returning to my things. my heart yearns as it has never yearned before.

  8. alia said

    >>>Someone who will walk with you,
    side by side,
    hand in hand,
    down the beautiful path that leads back the One to Whom we belong,
    the One to Whom is our return.

  9. alia said

    it yearns for exactly this. on top of the yearning to meet my Lord and Cherisher it yearns to meet Him Most High with this special one.

    i dont know if i can wait anymore. but i suppose that is not up to me eh?

    i think that once you hit a certain point, in your understanding of the world, things can only be seen through those eyes. despite your feelings, your selfish wanting and your unnecessary ranting, at teh end of teh day you have to just accept, because you know that predestination is at play and you understand just how insignificant you are in the planning of your own beautiful life.

    in a weird contradictory way it gives me a sense of comfort, knowing that im not in charge of finding the one. that i can kick back and relax and wait for those experiences to come knocking so i can delve into it-either to be ‘hurt’ and learn or for it to ‘work-out’ . but the hardest part is limbo…waiting waiting and waiting…

  10. alia said

    to leave the waiting and get on with life is the key. i need to stop it. stop it stop thinking about it. and waiting for it. i need to keep moving…keep doing my things…keep adding things. things are good. things are fulfilling. the right things lead to a good life. Things are the beginnings of other things. Keep busy I tell myself, but my heart refuses to listen…

    oh well, maybe tomorrow will be different. The long-weekend blues has got me. Keep making dua, u right, insha Allah it will be, either in this temporary abode or the next one, it will be…

    good post though, got me all worked up..
    peace, al

  11. Dreamlife said

    the time-occupying things, while being necessary, have acted as a form of avoidance. you see it as a mistake, to have taken time off, but its not – because it was a reminder that these things are still there.

    you can’t just drown them out in busy-ness; occupy your time and hope they’ll go away. if they’re real things, they stay until they are resolved.

    how it gets resolved, and what part you play in resolving them, thats an unknown that you find out over time.

    the waiting is part of your challenge, part of your test. when you’re forced to wait in something so important to you, it teaches you patience which, hopefully, will spread to other areas of life too.

    it is a kind of selfishness – not wanting to wait; and i think the younger you are, the harder it is – because your mindset is more towards instant gratification; and i think maturity brings with it the wisdom that all things have their time, and no matter how much you think you need something at a particular time, life is not a supermarket, where you can just get what you want when you want it.

    so, you learn patience from this. like you say, predestination is in play – and there’s a lesson to learn: to accept that you aren’t the one who is really in control.

    you’re right, that it should give us comfort – knowing we’re not in charge of finding the one. i wouldn’t say you can kick back and relax, though – because we don’t get except that which we strive for. but, for a girl, i think its more towards that side of things – in that you’re usually the one being pursued, since the guy generally makes the 1st move.

    you’re right – the key is to leave the waiting and get on with life. don’t put all your focus on this – because then you neglect the other areas, which can bring you a lot of happiness and satisfaction.

    the approach, though, of trying to fill your time as an avoidance mechanism, seems faulty – which could be why your heart is refusing to listen.

    (sorry if i’m sounding like a psychologist here. just saying what comes to mind…you’re the one that studied psychology, not me ;)

    it doesn’t mean you have to stop doing everything and confront your issues and figure it all out – that would be an extreme.

    but i’d say that the other extreme – filling your time just to be busy so that u can avoid the issues – thats the wrong approach too.

    so, like so much in life, you’ve gotta try and find something in between. a balance that works for you, which feels right to you and isn’t doing injustice to either the stuff you do (time-fillers) or the issues you need to face.

    I hope u find that balance :)

  12. saaleha said

    awed.
    and hopeful.
    :)

  13. alia said

    OOH A you going all psy-101 on me!!

    lol no i get you, and youre right… avoidance is my best freind!!!

    thanks for the kind words…
    a small request: next time happy subject plz….:)
    lol
    slms

  14. Dreamlife said

    Hey, i’m pretty good at avoidance as well…just as long as we don’t let it become “denial”, i think we’re reasonably ok. (At least, i hope thats the case ;) )

    I can’t promise what the subject will be. I don’t decide, after all :)

  15. shabz said

    Hey Mr. Zippo

    I’m in awe , it took a few years but your words seem to have found their way home :)

  16. Maliha said

    Salamaat,
    Beautiful heart song Mashaallah, thanks for sharing.

  17. kimya said

    gosh, i cant believe i missed this one in my rushed amblings along the mixed life path and time found for real and virtual readings… your words weave the answers to strangling threads of this web life creates around us! answers that leave in their wake a simple calm.. and understanding.. a reminder to Trust the Divine Will and a reassurance, most of all.. May your path be filled with the fragrance of this calmness of spirit that you so easily disperse..

  18. awed said

    Salaams
    This seems to be written a while back…the link was on a friend’s post. I usually don’t comment on blogs much..but I have to say that SubhanAllah..this is a really beautiful post! Very moving..you bring together so beautifully in words my (and I’m sure many others) scattered thoughts on this.

    • Dreamlife said

      Walaikum salaam, and jazakAllah. It’s still probably my favourite of all time – it was pure inspiration, and i feel like i didn’t write it – it just came through me.

      glad you liked it :)

  19. […] Comments Dreamlife on For the single people out…awed on For the single people out…shafs on Ponderances of an expectant…Azra on […]

  20. Asalamalaikum
    Subhannallah. Very eloquent.
    I come back to this blog after a few years, and even though this post was written 3 years ago, it just seems that it was written for this moment, to inspire me among others and continue to benefit those who read it- May Allah reward you.
    I hope you don’t mind if I quote it on my blog, with a link to yours.
    Jazakallah khayr

  21. Dreamlife said

    Walaikum salaam. No problem – i’m glad it had an impact. it’s still my favourite piece, because of what preceded it – and how it all was channelled into this amazing stream of inspiration. I used to ask Allah to make me of benefit to others, and through this blog – and pieces like this in particular – i hope that is coming true. Even though it was long ago, this struggle – of being single and yearning for that special one, and looking – that’s a timeless and universal struggle for many. So i hope this piece will continue to be a source of benefit and inspiration for anyone who reads it and needs encouragement.

    JazakAllah for linking me, of you do. I like your blog – and i think i’ve had ur link up in my sidebar for a while now.

  22. Sara said

    I stumbled upon this post today. Very profound and very true. From a female’s perspective even though in your heart you know that it’s up to Allah(swt) as to when you’ll find the one, it gets rather annoying at times when you see people that did tons of sinful unislamic things who are now married with children and everything and their lives are ladeda wonderful. On the flipside I know tons of wonderful women that have lived their lives decently (as in no dating, no chatting up guys secretly, no running around behind their parents backs) that are no now in their 30’s and still single. Our society makes them feel like further outcasts with people gossiping about how there must be something wrong with her and that’s why she’s not married. From young we are taught that if we do good….good will happen for us as well. Sometimes it just hurts and feels unfair and you just keep asking why? Nothing can or will fill the void of marriage whether you take up an activity because you love it or just to fill the void. At the end of the day when you come home ….theres a difference to coming home to a husband and kids then it is to come home to a bunch of thank you cards from some charity that you volunteer at. It’s human nature…you want your own lil family. Nonetheless thank you for this wonderfully written post. May Allah bless you for kindness in trying to keep everyone positive :)

  23. Dreamlife said

    JazakAllah for the kind words.

    “it gets rather annoying at times when you see people that did tons of sinful unislamic things who are now married with children and everything and their lives are ladeda wonderful”

    It may appear that way, but looks can be deceiving…those same people that *seem* to be living a perfect life can actually be really unhappy…you never know.

    THe thing is, if they went about things the wrong way, then their foundation of the marriage is bound to be weak. Conversely, if you do things the right way, it’s expected that your foundation is strong.

    And the strong foundation is so important when times get tough.

    But in both cases (i.e. whether the couple’s start was the right or wrong way), it’s Allah who makes that marriage a success. The very act of marriage is supposed to bring barakah – because it’s a sunnah and is the natural state of being for humanity.

    But if you’ve got the best foundation for that marriage, then insha-Allah it’s bound to be so much better than if you started wrong.

    I know being single is a struggle – especially when you’re trying to do things the right way. But view this whole thing as a journey that Allah has planned for you. You’re supposed to learn, grow, and develop – and when you are ready – when you’re the person you need to be for that partner of yours – Allah will bring you two together insha-Allah.

    Perhaps the biggest lesson in this whole wait is sabr. Intellectually, we can know what that term means; and know how important it is, etc. But you only really learn it when you’re going through a situation that needs it. This journey – this wait – is a tremendous opportunity to build that sabr.

    And though it may seem like your wait is so long, from my own experience, once you do get married, that whole period quickly seems like it’s so far away…like the years of agony and waiting are a distant memory – because you now live in the moment of being with that person you wanted to be with for so long.

    All the best to you. Be strong and patient, but know that Allah is always with you and always ready to listen to your heart.

    If you’re looking for further encouragement, you can read the follow-up to this poem (which came 5 months later):

    http://dreamlife.wordpress.com/2007/09/18/dedication/

  24. Assalamualaikum :)

    MashaAllah.. so wonderfully put! Loved it! <3 :)

  25. huda ayyad said

    aww this is so cute mashallah I once read on half our deen
    “Finding your other half is not an overnight process.It takes paticnce and Allah rewards those who are patient. Being single can be a hardship so may Allah make it easy on those searching.For those searching remeber the Prophet said with every hardship comes ease”

  26. Everyone once in a while you come across a post that you are meant to read at just that moment. Thank you :)

  27. muslemaah said

    SubhanaAllah!

    Just the first part of the poem made me all mushy….!

    ‘They tell you to be patient.
    They say your time will come:
    what is meant to be will be;

    And all that lies between now and then
    is a trial of Faith,
    a lesson in patience,
    a Revelation of your ultimate reliance on the One’

    SubhanaAllah ‘Reliance on the ONe’…as HE is the only ONe who can truly bless us with righteous spouses.

    Ya Wadood, bless each one of us with a beautiful spouse whom we can walk with hand in hand in Jannatul Firdaus.

    Amin ya Rabbal A’lameen!

  28. lyana said

    Thank you for this beautiful poem. It came on a day when I needed it the most.

    Jazakallahu khairan. May Allah reward you and gives you inspiration to write more beautiful posts.

  29. I am in total agreement with Aalia and Sara. I’m 31 and am incredibly lonely but am fortunate in being able to do things that I actually love doing and that is contributing to who I am as a person and who I want to be. I am making duah constantly and consistently and would be incredibly grateful when Allah (swt) accepts my duah and grants me a good husband and bless us abundantly with love, happiness, children, health, wealth and keep our bond strong and unbreakable. I made my niyyah to not date anyone but am finding myself in a situation where I’m introduced to men who’s only mission it seems is to waste my time. It’s incredibly heart-breaking to attend family functions and the like because I’m constantly reminded of how alone I am. Family keep asking if I’m going home alone as if I’m able to click my fingers and have a person suddenly appear out of thin air to accompany me home. I’m sick and tired of all these meet and greets and just want to meet my husband. I make duah not only for myself but for others too and am truly happy when their dreams come true…because they do. And I’m here. Still single. I am happy with my life, proud of who I am and I know exactly what I want. But I’m also very unhappy, very alone.

    • muslemaah said

      Annie dear, don’t you worry. Allah Ta’ala knows, He knows what is in your heart and no matter how much you share those, He knows more than what you can share.Allah Kareem says ‘inna ma’al u’sri, yusra’ with every hardship there comes ease. Allah Ta’ala tests those whom He loves most. It’s not easy, I know. It’s easier said than done. But just know one thing, Allah Ta’ala knows how much you have sacrificed for HIm. And beleive me, He is very Appreciating. He has soemthing in store for you,inshaAllah and I do make dua’a that inshaAllah Allah Kareem blesses you with a righteous husband whom you’ve ever dreamed of and gives you happinness… in this life and the next-Akhirah. Amin Allahumma Ya Mujeeb. This is one of the many many things that, subhanAllah only the Creator has the utmost control. Pairs are made in heaven, names are alreday written, he will come in due time inshaAllah, the specific time that Allah Kareem knows is perfect for your journey in this life. So hang in there, and use this time to get closer and closer to Allah Ta’ala. I like when you mentioned- “I am making duah constantly and consistently”. InshaAllah the Al-Mujeeb will surely answer your prayers. Amin. I make this dua’a for you and for all of us and for all our Muslim sisters out there seeking husbands. May Allah Al-Kareem , Ar-Rahman, Al-Wadood, bless on this auspicious day of Jum’ah. Amin ya Mujeeb.

  30. Dreamlife said

    JazakAllah for your comment. We get tested in different ways, and this particular test, for me, was the most difficult one I had to endure. But in those almost 6 years of that trial, I learnt a lot, grew a lot, and ultimately benefited tremendously from the period.

    I’d like to re-iterate one of the points in this poem – which is to try to take the perspective as this being a learning period and a preparation that is needed in order to get you to the point you personally need to be at. And even if those words don’t give much comfort because you already know them, rest assured that insha-Allah by maintaining such sabr and NOT taking the easy route (i.e. haraam), you’re earning tremendous reward from Allah – even if you don’t see it right now. You’ve maybe heard the hadith saying that if Allah loves a slave He tests that person – so the very fact that you’re going through such a difficult test is a beautiful sign for you, isn’t it?

    Just keep holding on and remember that your only way to succeed in this (and any other trial) is through Allah’s help – so keep strong in your deen, and try to keep building and improving it, and insha-Allah that dua will be manifested before your eyes soon. And insha-Allah when that does happen, remember to keep that bond with Allah strong. Don’t let the fulfilment of the need take you away from the closeness to Allah you had…because it’s very easy to fall into that trap too.

    • muslemaah said

      SubhanaAllah. So very true. We humans are weak…weak in the sense that we are very close to Allah Ta’ala when we need something fulfilled. SubhanaAllah. We might be very good and very concious of all. But SubhnanaAllah (Ya Ghaffar, please forgive us) once we get that fulfilled, we tend to forget and be appreciative enough. How can we appreciate? We can appreciate by saying Alhamdulillah at that point in time when we see we already have our dua’a fulfilled. However, we have to be appreciative in the sense of our actions. We have to do good, be obedient to Allah Ta’ala and try to pelase Him as much and as always as we can. Because He has answered our prayers. So whenever you have a bad thought or you wanna do something that you know is not halaal, look around, think, contemplate, subhaAllah of Allah’s ever existing blessings. Say Alhamdulillah. And that should be a motivation for you to leave that haraam and the Ash-Shakur will be very pleased with you. Don’t we know that we are told that whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah Ta’ala, he weill be blessed with something much better than that which he left? SubhanaAllah.

  31. Muslima said

    Salaam, hope you don’t mind that I’m reposting this on my blog – every so often, I get really down and things like this are a great reminder – so jazakAllah khayr!

  32. Dreamlife said

    Walaikum salaam. I’m glad it helped. Feel free to add your link in a comment here if you wish.

  33. Cool. It’s http://muslimamusing.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/a-pick-me-up.html

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