Do what you love…love what you do

When I was very young, from what I remember, I used to love to write. Creative writing was a passion in my earliest school years. I remember silly stories about a Monster Party where the partygoers played “Pass the person,” and a Time Machine story where victorious German soldiers (during World War 2) used spears in their battle.

My teachers would encourage me to write at home, as an extra-curricular activity. But I don’t think I ever did.

Although I loved to write at that age (roughly seven years old), I didn’t see it as a viable career choice. I worried about writers’ block. I decided, way back then, that I couldn’t base a career on creativity – because there was no guarantee that the stories and words would come. I couldn’t take creativity for granted – because this was my future livelihood on the line.

I grew up, going through junior school, thoroughly enjoying reading the stories of others – because fiction opened my mind to other worlds, and excited my imagination beyond the ordinary confines of normal life. As time passed, my teenage years saw this reading disappear altogether; and my writing, which was done only for schoolwork, became relatively dull and uninspired. There was so much else that took my attention in those years, and the never-ending slew of futile occupations that consumed my time ensured that my creativity remained subdued – a thing forgotten.

This stage continued into university, until I reached the turning point in my life: a series of events that brought my spirit back to life – woke me up and inspired in me perhaps the greatest change I’ll ever encounter. And from that point on, the introspective side of me began its journey to a path of self-expression – a state of being where I was free to let loose what I held inside, without fearing my innermost thoughts being discovered by prying eyes.

Although this state of being was in the works for some time, it was an online acquaintance that first encouraged me to express myself in writing. And, over time, I began to do that, and the feelings, thoughts, dreams, and fears therapeutically poured out of me into what seemed* like well-crafted poems and pieces that reflected who I was, who I wanted to be, and what was most important to me.

(*I say “seemed” because the words and structures just came across as if they were well thought out. But, in reality, I didn’t plan much at all. I favoured the free-flow method: where I would just write as it came – without giving much thought to stopping, thinking, or editing. Natural was best, in my eyes – because I didn’t want my self-expression to be stifled by the left-brain processes which, I thought, would only hamper what I was writing).

In terms of my career, I had, up till that point, been in an IT position that wasn’t really conducive to interesting writing – because it was pretty much business and technical-related. I then moved into another IT role, but this time one that centred around technical writing and communications. Although this role was, again, business and technical-related, it somehow opened up new doors to me – showing me that I could use my writing skill for my career.

It was also in this period that I began blogging, starting this blog in 2006. My blog began with just photos, because I wasn’t confident enough to post my writings yet. But, over time, I became more comfortable, and introduced written pieces to the blog.

For a long while, this blog served as a great comfort to me: a place where I could post my self-expressions (both visual and written), and get feedback and encouragement from those of you who took the time to visit and comment.

With regard to writing, I also branched out into other forms of writing – applying myself to Islamic-related articles. When I finished the communications job, I ventured into the field of volunteering – doing communications work at two Muslim organisations. I enjoyed this work immensely – because I was getting to do what I loved to do (i.e. write), and apply the skills and knowledge I had learned (i.e. communications) – all in the field that was most important to me: Islam. And, of course, when you work in that kind of organisation, even mundane tasks can earn you Divine rewards – if you do it with the right intention.

I’ve continued to work with one of these organisations up to this year, and I’ve been blessed to be part of some great projects over the last few years. At one point, when they were thinking about appointing a full-time staff member, I considered applying – because I would dearly love to do that kind of work as a full-time career.

Unfortunately, that didn’t work out. And, as I came to see, there aren’t many opportunities for full-time work in that field. At least, not opportunities that pay market-related rates.

It’s a difficult position for Islamic organisations, because they do such great work, and they could probably do so much better – but many of them don’t have the proper support: financially, structurally, and in terms of high-quality professionals that are dedicated to the organisation on a full-time basis.

Many of these organisations struggle to survive; and they just cannot afford to pay the rates that professionals can earn in the corporate or even academic worlds.

So I saw that, if I wanted to work in that field, it would take financial sacrifice. But, being newly-married and newly-financially independent, I didn’t feel it was a sacrifice I could make at that time.

My current job – which I’ve been in for almost two years – makes use of my writing ability, in subjects that are not technical or IT-related (for the most part). Because of this, I enjoy the content of my current work more than any previous jobs.

Yet, I still sometimes find myself frustrated; believing wholeheartedly that I could perform so much better if I were writing about the things that were most important to me. I strongly believe that, if I were given the opportunity to use my abilities for subject matters that resonate strongly within me, I could, insha-Allah, be so much more productive, and hopefully produce work that could be beneficial to those who read / see it (not that my current work is not beneficial…because it hopefully is).

Undoubtedly, one field that this can be achieved in is media – and specifically, Islamic media. However, although I’ve had a few pieces published in printed publications over the last few years, my most recent attempts to break into this field have failed.

So, then, there’s always the Internet. And, of course, blogging – because blogging is really the ultimate personal medium: it’s a platform where you can write about what’s most important to you; hopefully have a positive influence on people; and receive feedback from the readers.

Lately, I’ve been thinking again about my career – wondering if I’ll ever get to do what I love doing as a full-time, decently-paid job. (Note that the financial-sacrifice thing is even less realistic at this point – because I now have a wife and baby to support.)

Not many people get to do what they love as a career. But for those that do – you can see the passion in them, and you can feel the energy that they have in carrying out a ‘job’ which they do out of love – and not just for the money.

Going forward, I wonder what the future holds for me in terms of getting to that career goal. I know I could probably do with some further studies, because:

1. I lack journalistic training (which is actually fine by me, because I don’t want to be a journalist. I’ve heard that it’s a field I would not enjoy).
2. I don’t have formal communications training (despite almost 2 years in a largely communications-based role).
3. Other than my professional training, I haven’t taken any further courses in any kind of writing – be it feature writing, creative writing, or anything else.

Other than that, opportunity is the big issue. Part-time freelancing doesn’t seem like an option right now, because I just don’t have the time for other projects. I don’t even have time to write the things I want to write.

But I do want to try to keep writing – so that that part of me remains active, and hopefully sticks around for the time when, insha-Allah, a proper, full-time opportunity presents itself.

Where that opportunity would come from, I don’t know. I guess the key is to find a way that I can add value to an organisation – an organisation that does the kind of work I want to be involved in; an organisation where I can have the platform to advance their work as well as my own ambitions.

Anyway, like the title of the post says: “Do what you love…love what you do.” That, really, is my ultimate career ambition.

I just wanted to share that here. Any feedback, ideas, or offers would be much appreciated.

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Welcome to the world

We didn’t think it would happen so soon. The signs of labour had been absent up to the day before, and it didn’t seem that events would unfold naturally. So, although surprising, that Wednesday evening’s contractions seemed to be just the beginning of what might be a long, drawn-out process. I speak here of the night our daughter was born – two weeks ago, on an amazing night.

Because of complications, we thought the birth would be a planned procedure – booked for the following night. Little did we know that our little bundle of joy (and wind ) was on her way. And she would not wait for the scheduled date.

Rushing to the hospital felt weird, but not too dramatic. Labour can take many hours, and sometimes even a few days – so I thought we were in for a long wait. We planned what we wanted to do in the labour room. We’d packed our bags, prepared everything we needed, and took everything with. On arrival, after the initial consult, it seemed we’d be there the whole night: the stage of labour my wife was in was one that usually takes at least a further 6 hours until she’d get to the major events.

But a visit from the doctor told us otherwise. The baby was not in position for natural birth, and trying to go that route could be dangerous – so we had to take the route that seems so common today: caesarean section. The speed at which everything happened from that point seemed unreal: the doctor’s consultation, news that we had to go with the caesar, and minutes later, we were in theatre.

I still can’t describe the way I felt. It was like a different reality. The kind you experience when you have those moments of clarity: like when you feel the reality of death (another person’s death), or when you experience the true fragility of human life via an accident or a life-threatening crime.

I can’t imagine the pain my wife had to go through, and I dared not look at what was going on – opting instead to try to be as supportive as I could; and hopefully lessening the anxiety.

Before the birth, when we toured the hospital to see the rooms and learn how things were done, I was terrified for my wife. I mean, if you think the dentist is bad, birth is just so much scarier. Maybe it’s just me magnifying the feeling – because I cannot stand pain; and I’d never be able to go through what a woman has to go through when she gives birth. When I had to get a minor boil removed in my teenage years, I wanted to be put to sleep because I didn’t want to feel the pain. I can’t imagine how I’d handle any type of surgery if I ever had to have an operation.

Anyway, as the doctors did their thing, I tried – with my wife – harder than I’ve ever tried, to be of comfort to someone, and take their mind off the experience they were facing. And when our little girl popped out, disgusting as all the fluids and gunk was, it was a huge relief, and a moment of joy that I hope we’ll always remember.

The entity that was just a tiny bean 8 months before (on the ultrasound), was now out in the world, and in the arms of my wife and I. It was awesome to finally meet her; and beautiful to see her little fingers and face. Alhamdullilah, we thank Allah for granting us a healthy baby and not testing us with physical deformations or retardations.

A few months back, I wrote about the anticipation of fatherhood. I wondered whether the spirit of sacrifice would come naturally to me. Now, these first 2 weeks have proven that – so far – it did come. I’ve never been so busy for a prolonged period, running around getting so many things done and not thinking much of myself. I’ve never experienced the consistent lack of sleep on this level – yet still been able to cope in the day (most of the time), and hopefully help enough when I was needed at night.

And I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.

We’ve got a long road ahead now, and raising a child is probably going to be the most challenging thing my wife and I have ever faced. But we’re grateful to have this opportunity, and we hope that – despite all our faults and shortcomings – our little one will grow up to be a woman of amazing character and righteousness, and a source of goodness not only for us, but for this world as well.

Maintaining presence

Hey everyone, hope you’re having a good new year. This is just a short note  to update you on some maintenance stuff, since this blog has undergone some  changes in the last few months.

 

1. Updated links:

I’ve updated the links section, which I’d neglected for most of the last 2  years. So you’ll find some of the links gone, as well as some new ones added.  Among those are 2 of my most loyal readers (Zahera and Prixie – thanx for  still visiting after all this time, even though the posts are coming way  slower than before), a new blog my wife and I started last year, as well as  the site of the President of Iran, who seems to be quite adept at the  blogging thing. I’m not one for politics, but the man has impressed me, and  he writes very well – so check out his blog and see if you learn anything new  about his country, other than the negative propoganda going round in the  news. (Thanks to Shafinaaz for the link – found it on her blog).

 

2. Subscribe by email:

I also added a subscription link, which you’ll find at the bottom of the  right hand column. If you’d like to be updated whenever there’s something new  on this blog, you can click on that to find out more.

 

3. Theme changes:

You may have noticed this blog turned green late last year. That’s not  because it got ripe (I know…corny. But I love making corny jokes   ) – but  because I’ve wanted to make a big change in the look for a long time. I tried  some of the other WordPress themes, but nothing caught my fancy (I’m very  particular – so that’s not surprising). Because I know almost nothing about  the visual side of blogs, I can’t design my own theme – nor do I want to. But  if anyone has a good 3-column theme that would work with WordPress, let me  know.

 

Anyway, hope you’re all good, and hope you’ll stick with the blog in 2009.

 

I hope to have a new post up soon.

 

 

Something new

Hi everyone

Although this blog is getting rather lethargic of late, I hope you still come by once in a while to see what’s new.

But I’d also like to invite you to check out http://palmsofwisdom.wordpress.com

It’s a new project we’re starting, and I hope it’ll take off and be of much benefit to us all.

Thanx
Dreamlife

A Very Powerful Story

 

He remembered his grandmother’s warning about praying on time: “My son, you shouldn’t leave prayer to this late time”. His grandmother’s age was 70 but whenever she heard the Adhan, she got up like an arrow and performed Salah. He, however, could never win over his ego to get up and pray. Whatever he did, his Salah was always the last to be offered and he prayed it quickly to get it in on time. 

Thinking of this, he got up and realized that there were only 15 minutes left before Salat-ul Isha. He quickly made Wudhu and performed Salat-ul Maghrib. While making Tasbih, he again remembered his grandmother and was embarrassed by how he had prayed. His grandmother prayed with such tranquility and peace.

He began making Dua and went down to make Sajdah and stayed like that for a while. He had been at school all day and was tired, so tired.

He awoke abruptly to the sound of noise and shouting. He was sweating profusely. He looked around. It was very crowded. Every direction he looked in was filled with people. Some stood frozen looking around, some were running left and right and some were on their knees with their heads in their hands just waiting.

Pure fear and apprehension filled him as he realized where he was. His heart was about to burst. It was the Day of Judgement. When he was alive, he had heard many things about the questioning on the Day of Judgement, but that seemed so long ago. Could this be something his mind made up? No, the wait and the fear were so great that he could not have imagined this.

The interrogation was still going on. He began moving frantically from people to people to ask if his name had been called. No one could answer him. All of a sudden his name was called and the crowd split into two and made a passageway for him.

Two angels grabbed his arms and led him forward. He walked with unknowing eyes through the crowd. The angels brought him to the center and left him there. His head was bent down and his whole life was passing in front of his eyes like a movie. He opened his eyes but saw only another world.

The people were all helping others. He saw his father running from one lecture to the other, spending his wealth in the way of Islam. His mother invited guests to their house and one table was being set while the other was being cleared. He pleaded his case, “I too was always on this path. I helped others. I spread the word of Allah. I performed my Salah. I fasted in the month of Ramadan. Whatever Allah ordered us to do, I did. Whatever he ordered us not to do, I did not.” He began to cry and think about how much he loved Allah.

He knew that whatever he had done in life would be less than what Allah deserved and his only protector was Allah.

He was sweating like never before and was shaking all over. His eyes were fixed on the scale, waiting for the final decision. At last, the decision was made. The two angels with sheets of paper in their hands, turned to the crowd. His legs felt like they were going to collapse. He closed his eyes as they began to read the names of those people who were to enter Jahannam.

His name was read first.

He fell on his knees and yelled that this couldn’t be, “How could I go to Jahannam? I served others all my life, I spread the word of Allah to others”. His eyes had become blurry and he was shaking with sweat.

The two angels took him by the arms. As his feet dragged, they went through the crowd and advanced toward the blazing flames of Jahannam.

He was yelling and wondered if there was any person who was going to help him. He was yelling of all the good deeds he had done, how he had helped his father, his fasts, prayers, the Qur’an that he read, he was asking if none of them would help him. The Jahannam angels continued to drag him.

They had gotten closer to the Hellfire. He looked back and these were his last pleas. Had not Rasulullah [saw] said, “How clean would a person be who bathes in a river five times a day, so too does the Salah performed five times cleanse someone of their sins”?

He began yelling, “My prayers? my prayers? my prayers.” The two angels did not stop, and they came to the edge of the abyss of Jahannam. The flames of the fire were burning his face. He looked back one last time, but his eyes were dry of hope and he had nothing left in him.

One of the angels pushed him in. He found himself in the air and falling towards the flames. He had just fallen five or six feet when a hand grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.

He lifted his head and saw an old man with a long white beard. He wiped some dust off himself and asked him, “Who are you?” The old man replied, “I am your prayers”. “Why are you so late! I was almost in the Fire! You rescued me at the last minute before I fell in”.

The old man smiled and shook his head, “You always performed me at the last minute, did you forget?”
At that instant, he blinked and lifted his head from Sajdah. He was in a sweat. He listened to the voices coming from outside. He heard the adhan for Salat-ul Isha. He got up quickly and went to perform Wudhu.

Pass this on to ur friends and family, and maybe u can help someone open their eyes…….. and who knows?? maybe this is a good deed that can help you during the day of Judgement…

Source: Unknown

Tag here

Over the last few weeks, I’ve added some new links on the right hand side – the blogs of some really interesting people.

One of the new folks, Maryam, tagged me with the topic “5 things you didn’t know about me”.

So, here goes:

1. I cannot ride a bike (unless its got training wheels )
2. At one point, “Terminator 2″ was my favourite movie of all time – I had seen it about 15 times and knew every scene and line.
3. I used to be a sleepwalker, and reportedly did a Steve Urkel impression in my sleep.
4. I do not like plugs being left on, when there’s nothing plugged in. It’s dangerous. I switch these plugs off.
5. Since yesterday, I have a black spot on the inside of my cheek. It may be a blood clot; or it may be a beauty spot (if u get those inside your mouth)…or it may be something else. I don’t know what it is. But its new. Up until yesterday, that was something I didn’t even know about me )

That’s 5. And now, I tag:

Saaleha
Bibi Aisha
Zahera
Ruby
Fatima
Muhammad

Jocado does a Johari

One time, when I did one of these personality-type tests, they interpreted my name to be “Jocado”. It wasn’t their conclusion based on the results of the test. It was just how they read my handwriting

.

Anyway, I did one of those quizes online (link courtesy of Saaleha), and the results are here:

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Dreamlife

. 

After that, I did the inverse version:

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Dreamlife

.

Have a look-see and lets see what you come up with. 

Gaaf regards…

me

Calm before the storm

There isn’t  sorrow.
There isn’t clinging onto what has become so familiar:
     the environment I get to be in,
     the people I pray with, who i am surrounded by – working and not working.
.
There’s no ‘mental journey of appreciation’ either:
I’ve done that already, months ago, and find no need to revisit the thoughts I have,
the gratefulness I have, for being Blessed with this experience.
.
I have been part of a community:
Brothers have smiled at me, shook my hand, shown me the warmth and affection of unity
that I have not had, not been a part of, not belonged, all my life.
.
Where my future lies, I do not know.
There is no anxiety yet – the reality of impending unemployment has not made its way to me again yet.
.
But I have Faith.
Beyond the thoughts of worry, the unease of uncertainty,
the perception that ‘no job means marriage is not yet possible’….

Brain, mind, thoughts, ideas aside – in my heart there is contentment over this;

For God has given me such great blessings in this career – this professional side of life – thus far.
.
I am confident now, in my strengths: i know what they are,
truly know where my strengths lie,
and I am better for it: both personally, AND professionally.

And that bids well for my future. For the fulfillment, once again, of one of my very few goals when it comes to ‘work’.
.
In my time here, I have come to know that I’ve moved on – inside – progressed beyond the insecurity of my teenage and varsity life.

I’m still shy, yes, but I’m confident in myself. I don’t feel “less” than the others; I don’t lack what I used to consider ‘normality’.

I am firmly footed in who I am and how I want to live my life.
I don’t have a plan,
but I have ambitions, and ideas -
a river of ideas sometimes -
and underlying my future, I have something more important than any Honours degree;
more assuring than any educational or professional qualification;
more real than all of those things:

                    I have Faith. I have Guidance.
                    I have what is the most beautiful thing in my life;
                    my relationship with my Creator.
.
And that – no matter what life throws my way (in ANY area of life) - is what will bring me through this world and this life I have been given.

A bird’s eye view

While the world goes on below,
I am free, I am calm.
A place, so far from them all – yet
close enough to reach quickly.

On this day, I am thankful for
it’s absolute beauty.
 

That I am able to experience, in my life,
such beauty.
In the sky, almost…clouds so close,
the warmth of the sun, on this otherwise
chilly summer day.

I see the ocean on one side,
the mountains bordering them.
The bay on the other side:
foamy white waves, crashing
on the shore -

   So lively where they are,
   yet distant from where I sit,

.
Perched up here, the starlings
stopping by on occasion.
I’m in their world now:
a place high up, where
the beauty of this world
can be seen.

.
The world below stretches out,
but i look not at it,
for down there is activity:
busy-ness, and business;
running around; rushing here and there.

.
Work to do, people to call,
places to be.
I revel in this break – this
window of solitude.

.
A peaceful existence up here…

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back on earth, however, life goes on
as usual.
And though my window is shut
again, for now,
I am happy to have my perch, my safehaven…
for up there, I don’t need anything. I don’t
need anyone. It’s just me, the sky, the birds (on occassion),
and my Creator.

.
So rare – nowadays – are moments like this -
    a time to stop.
    a time to be free:
       free of my world,
       free of my usual reality.
A new world. A new vision.
Lying with one eye covered, i’m
almost floating in the clouds:
engulfed in blue and white;

.
no longer constrained by the physical limits down below:
    no buildings, no trees,
    no electricity or things to capture my time.
I am free of all that. I am free of the world.
It’s serene – being detached from it all;
being up where there’s nothing but fresh
air…no desperation, no deception,
no temptation…just here and now.

.
     Nothing else matters.
     Just here and now.

.

     I could die now…leave my life
     behind, because this is peace.
     This is my Blessed place.
     And i hope to always have
     this – or the like thereof…

           .

Recommended

This is a bit of a mixed post – I thought I’d share some of the things I’ve enjoyed over the course of this year, and would recommend to others:

• Palestine Online Store: The Palestine Online Store seeks to make products from or about Palestine, particularly informational resources, more widely available. While the focus is on informational resources (books and documentary films), other products such as apparel, handcrafts, and solidarity items are also featured. Many of the items featured at the Palestine Online Store are actually fundraisers for grassroots organizations. 

• Muslim Hands Sponsorships: For a small amount every month, you can make such a big difference in someone’s life. Someone who is in desperate need – an orphan in a war-torn country; an elderly person who has no family to be with; a student trying to find a bright future…we often hear about these parts of the world and the terrible things happening there – but how often do we get the chance to actually do something for them? We have so much going for us in this country, and we often take that for granted. I think its important for us to share what we have, if we can.

I urge you to think about becoming involved in one of these sponsorship programmes. Even if you can’t afford a sponsorship on your own, do it with someone else – 2 or 3 or even more people. It doesn’t matter how many of you it takes to make up the amount each month…what matters is that you’re contributing, no matter how small the amount.
 
It’s not about what you can “spare” – it’s about what you can GIVE. and I think most of us – if we tried – could give a little to this cause every month.

The link is for the international website, which has details about the various sponsorships available.  You can contact the South African branch for more details if you’re in SA. If you need additional contact details for the SA branch (in Cape Town), I can send those to you as well.

• The Soul of a Butterfly: Reflections on Life’s Journey by Muhammad Ali: Muhammad Ali’s memoir focuses largely on his spiritual evolution from his childhood to his years as a boxing star, through fatherhood and into his role as a Parkinson’s disease advocate and peace activist.  Ali’s simple prose is sprinkled with his boxing poetry, some read by Davis and some read by Ali’s daughter Hana.

• “Closer than Veins” by Outlandish: new album by the European hip-hop group whose previous hits include “Walou”, “Guantanamo” and “Aicha” (i love that last 1 ). The 1st single from this album is “Look Into My Eyes“, which is based on a poem expressing the plight of those suffering from America’s foreign policy with regards to Israel and Palestine.  You can preview the album at Musica Digital. (The link may not work – if not, just search for it on the site)

• Al-Jumuah magazine, Sept 2006 issue: Was my first time getting this magazine, and I was very impressed. The theme of this particular issue is “Coming of age”, and the articles cover topics very, very relevant to our generation (and those younger than us). Some of the topics are:
  • “The Muslim Culture of Crisis”,
  • “Overcoming the challenge of lust”,
  • “Lowering the gaze” (a huge challenge in today’s world, especially a country like ours – this article should be especially useful, with summer time coming soon),
  • “Sex and the Single Muslimah”,
  • Virginity,
  • Adolescence and sex education,
  • Birth control and Abortion in Islam,

I found the articles to be extemely well written; they aren’t written in a juristic or Fatwa type of tone. Instead, they are more discursive and educational, as well as encouraging. Practical application to today’s environment and challenges is so important, and they cover these aspects well.

.
They seem to understand that effectiveness lies in connecting with your audience, talking *to* them – discussing, explaining, etc….in a way that is not authoratitive – a way that isn’t like you’re scolding or treating the young reader like a child.

The majority of us are well-educated and intelligent, and I think their approach is very respectful of that fact. We’re addressed in a way where we are considered mature and educated individuals.

I really recommend getting the magazine, so look for it if you’re in an Islamic bookshop (which is where I got mine), or anywhere else you may find it for that matter.

I think publications like this can benefit us a lot, whether its through  education, debate, or getting us to think about things which we are often too scared to talk about.