Marriage and you (Yes, YOU)
Posted by Yacoob on March 5, 2012
Once upon a time, for what felt like ages, marriage was the most important issue in my life. For years, I searched for that elusive partner – the mythical ‘soulmate’ who would ‘complete’ me, help me to grow personally, and provide for me the emotional bond I so desperately craved.
And in those years, a lot of my focus –in thought, writing, and discussions with others – was on that very mission – who, when, and how it would all happen. In fact, I think the pinnacle of my writing at that point was this poem – which encapsulated pretty much all my dreams for marriage.
And when it did finally happen, it didn’t take long for that focus to fade away. I mean, once a mission is complete, you don’t go on ruminating about it – especially when time no longer permits (yes – being married is a rather time-consuming matter).
As far as the blog world goes, back then, there were many others who were in the same boat as me. And I’ve found that it’s a constant in this realm – many bloggers and commenters are single, and looking (not necessarily the ones referred to above).
And while I myself am no longer in their shoes, a part of me still remembers what it was like. So with that in mind, I have some thoughts about a possible series I’d like to start on this here blog – specifically on that subject matter: Mission Marriage.
So what I would like from you – the single and looking ones out there – is your input. You can choose to post here as a comment with your blog-name or anonymously, or email instead if you don’t want it publically visible.
- What are the biggest issues for you in your quest?
- In today’s times and Western societies we live in, is the ‘Islamic way’ of going about this quest still feasible or effective?
- What are your thoughts on arranged marriage? And would you accept it for yourself?
- Do you fear that you’re approaching a ‘sell-by date’, after which your chances are going to fall dramatically?
- What kind of wedding do you hope for?
- What are your thoughts on pre-marital education (e.g. marriage classes)?
Those are just some questions that came to mind, but there are probably many more that can be added.
In your responses, I ask that you be honest but also careful not to say anything you would regret later. Don’t get too personal (meaning, don’t give your life story about your experiences in this – extract your points without mentioning any identifiable names). And don’t expose any wrongs that you or others have done. And don’t harshly criticize others who are doing things you don’t agree with.
I don’t know if anything will come of this, but it’s an idea right now – and perhaps it may blossom into something bigger, if demand is there and time permits it to go further.