Winter Sun

Winter sun
How I miss you now.

When days are filled
With work, work, and more work.

I first got to know you in very different times
Paradoxical in
that they were the dark days of my life
yet your warmth brightened my heart
and radiated through me –
giving me peaceful interludes
in an otherwise lonely and sad existence.

Moments spent basking in your light
Reading books on my balcony.
No work to do
Nowhere to go
Nothing urgent demanding my time or energy.

I’d sit there in solitude,
Observing the harmony of nature
Hearing the human activity
And playing no part in either.

In the years that fill
The gap between then and now
I’ve occasionally stopped to experience you again
Though only for fleeting moments.

For now life is much more full.
Filled to the brim
With all the burdens of grown-up life,
From work to wife,
Child to house,
Admin to maintenance
All encompassed in a life which –
Back then –
I dreamed of,
But now
Sometimes find overwhelming –
Though still manageable.

Years have passed
And the poet in me has withered and died
These words being the first verses that have come forth
In many, many months.

I know not if they shall ever return after this,
But for now I shall savour
The feeling of
Once again –
Letting loose this heart;
As words flow from it,
Through my limbs,
Onto the page.

And it all stemmed from you,
Winter sun.
From a few stolen moments
Spent basking in your warmth
On an otherwise
Routine, reflectionless day
Where being busy is a constant,
And stopping to just do nothing –
Totally free of thoughts and words and plans and fears
and all that otherwise occupy
my every waking moment.

So in these days leading up
To the Blessed Month
I pray that
I will again experience moments with you
And re-align myself
To the inner peace,
Solitude,
And warm contentment
That you evoke.

This piece was written 2 years ago on the eve of Ramadan. The catalyst was a few moments outside in the warmth of a sunny Winter’s day – which reminded me of previous experiences similar to that – mostly during times of unemployment, when I was still single – where I had the free time to enjoy these moments without the pressures of working life and family responsibilities. Now, in 2015, parts of it still ring true – but sadly, I don’t get moments of inspiration like this anymore. If I did, you’d see a lot more poetic ramblings on this blog…

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